In or Out
by T.C.aka AA
Summary: WARNING FEMSLASH as in women and women romantic relationship ... don't like it ...don't read it..When life happens and you leave behind a broken heart... sometime or the other it catches up to you...and you need to face it..face her..
1. Chapter One

Chapter One

Sometimes things happen and you think that the world just ended. Like there is no tomorrow, or at least you wish there wasn't one. You lie in bed still pretending, wishing; hoping that what laid on your bed was a lifeless entity instead of your body breathing in and out. But then the sun comes up and you know you are alive. You follow the daily routine like a robot on batteries and may be, may be just once in a while you stop and while you stare at the grim building that awaited you every morning, you wonder what happened to the broken heart that you thought should have certainly killed you, and the answer dawns on you. Life happened.

And life happened for Agent Scully after she came back from New York. She had thought she would let things cool then call or go back to sort out the mess she had left behind, but it never happened as Mulder sucked her into a case that got him to disappear and her abducted. When she came back from the whole ordeal, the X-Files were run by Agent Dogget and Agent Reyes, whom Scully didn't trust at all in the beginning. Fortunately she had returned right on time, to save X-Files from being shut down, and with the help of Assistant Director Skinner she was able to head it, until they found Mulder.

Though she butted heads with both of the new operatives from the beginning, with every case that dropped in their desk, their skepticism started to decline along with their arguments with Agent Scully.

Once everything was back on groove, still Agent Scully found herself spending all her spare time and energy to find her missing partner rather than to look back and gather the pieces of her broken heart.

That was until a case came knocking at her door.

"Yes, Agent Reyes." She said peering over the top of her glasses.

"I want you to read this case that was forwarded to us." Agent Monica Reyes said entering the basement office.

"Sure." Scully said extending her hand for the file.

"God Look at the mess here. How about I take you to lunch and brief you about the case." Agent Reyes said as she retracted the hand holding the file instead of giving it to Agent Scully.

Scully should have seen that coming as Agent Reyes always insisted on briefing her about a case over dinner, or lunch, or snack, as though she was looking for a reason to take Scully out, but she never asked her out otherwise, so Scully didn't waste her time to make much of her intentions. But, today Scully could see that Agent Reyes was a little more eager than usual, but still Scully was just too tired to even give it a thought. Scully took off her glasses and looked at the mess of papers all around her, and gave in to her own internal argument, and got up to follow the beautiful young Agent as always.

"Five murders, five different States, in five weeks." Agent Reyes said opening the file.

"Until last week there was no connection, till a police received an anonymous tip and now a connection."

Agent Reyes took out a photograph of a group of people posed in front of a rainbow flag.

Scully took the photograph gave it but a second to scan and then put it aside.

"Let me guess all our victims are on the photograph." Scully said.

Agent Monica Reyes couldn't believe that Scully hadn't even pointed out the rainbow flag in the background. Even straight people knew what that meant, and after almost seven months of trying to find out what team Dana played for, Monica was sure she would be able to tell with Dana's reaction to the case. But, when she didn't even mention it, Monica was once again at loss.

"A woman confessed to all the killings, and even though there is absolutely no physical evidence, with all the details she provided, there is no doubt that she is the murderer."

"Good, so are they having trouble finding her?" Scully asked wondering why the case became an X-File.

"Nope, she is in jail." Reyes replied.

"Then?"

"She has been in prison for the last 20 years; never left it and was in solitary confinement with surveillance for the last month, still the murders happened and she claims to have done it; with every little detail."

"Let me guess she does it in her dreams." Scully said as she picked up the picture of the woman with renewed interest.

"How did you know?"

"I have worked on a case with the same claim before, and Agent Mulder has a file for people who have the ability to wander away from their body when they sleep. Though there are only one or two documented cases where one can actually physically do anything." Scully asked as she carefully read the picture of a short dark haired woman who barely looked like a teenager. Then she opened the file that read Anne James aka AJ.

"This says that she claimed that she killed her family in her dreams too. She was convicted for it based on her confession with no physical evidence. So, I wonder what might have triggered her, now." Scully thought aloud as she read the file.

"Kate Williams might be the answer to that. She was her girlfriend in prison, till she came out about two months ago after finishing her sentence. Five weeks ago, she was raped and killed outside a gay bar. Five weeks ago the first murder happened."

"Was the victim gay?" Scully asked.

"No, straight." Reyes answered for taking a second to look at the file.

Scully closed the file and finally took the group photograph in her hands.

"They found the group photo from her belongings. The people who are already dead are crossed. I researched on the photograph and found out that it was taken at a summer camp for gay and lesbian kids, where college students from all over the country volunteered to counsel the ones who were confused or had trouble. Now, not all the student volunteers were gay, there were many who were straight but came there to show their support. So, I am guessing she is going after the ones who are straight." Monica paused as she saw that Scully was no longer listening to her. Instead she was staring at one particular face in the photograph.

"Isn't she dead?" Scully asked as she turned the photograph for Agent Reyes to see.

"No." Monica replied then started to read from the file. "About five years ago she had entered a federal witness protection program, but she came out of the program little under two years ago. Her name is Alexandra Cabot." Monica closed her file. "No, she is not dead."

_"She is dead for Christ's Sake." _

_"Please don't say that." Olivia had said sobbing._

_"Yes, she is never dead to you." Dana had retorted. _

Scully remembered her words spoken as eyes refused to leave the face.

Waiting was one thing Detective Benson knew all about. She had waited for Alex for over two years when she had finally allowed herself to fall for someone else. Then she had waited for Agent Dana Scully to call after she had walked off. Oh! Yes, she had waited, even though Alex had returned Olivia managed to keep her at distance as she had waited for Dana to call for days, then weeks, then it was over a month. Then she decided to call herself, she called and called, but there was no answer, not even an answering machine. Dana's cell phone was disconnected and her home phone only rang forever. She even called the FBI just to be greeted by an agitated voice that demanded more answers about what she wanted with Dana than giving her any answers. For a while she toyed with the idea that something might have happened to her, but then she knew that if no one else Agent Mulder would have informed her, so she concluded that Dana actually was shunning her. Though she couldn't figure out why they parted ways for a little spat that should have been resolved by one sorry from any one of them, there was nothing she could do but accept what had happened.

When she had finished waiting and stamped her overdrawn cigarette butt, she had found Alex waiting patiently for her. Even though she knew she had nothing but a broken heart to offer to Alex, she fell right back into her ex-lover's arms, where she was welcomed back.

Once the re-united lovers had settled back into each others lives Alex thought it wise to confess about couple of people she had seen when she was in hiding. Olivia unloaded her burden too by confessing about few that she shared the nights with. Then Alex asked one question Olivia had hoped she wouldn't but knew she would. "Did you fall in love with someone else?"

At that moment the word that came out of her lips betrayed everything her mind, heart and body as she heard her voice say, "No".

For months her lie had hunted Olivia, but with every rising sun, she felt a little less guilty.

Agent Dana Scully wasn't to be spoken or thought of, she said to herself as she kissed her girlfriend, ADA Alexandra Cabot.


	2. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

10:00AM I-87 Fairfield, VA

"Ok let's see, this is the third person in the photograph who is straight, and has not been attacked." Agent Scully said as she got into the car with Agent Reyes. "If she has no problem confessing, why can't she tell us how she is selecting her victims?"

"I don't know, may be if they knew, they could fight back. I still don't buy the whole attacking with her mind." No matter how many cases Agent Reyes saw of paranormal activities she never could jump for the first paranormal explanation at hand.

"Agent Dogget is looking into the accomplice theory, but we have to find the next target, I know that this photograph holds the pattern except she seems to have skipped these three people." Scully said staring at the photograph.

"Well, next stop is Tanya Chase, prominent business woman, only few miles from here." Monica said as she took the exit as Scully scribbled TC on her pad and stared at the initial.

10:30AM Commerce Building, Fairfield VA

"Agent Reyes and Agent Scully I certainly appreciate your concern but I don't even remember the young lady from the picture, and even though I did volunteer for that camp, I did it to fulfill a requirement for a course. The kids at the camp were thrilled to have straight people who supported them. I am not gay if that is what you are asking me." Tanya Chase said to the two agents.

"We are not saying you are Ms. Chase. In fact we believe that she is attacking straight people from the camp counsels. So, all we want to do is make sure you are protected." Agent Reyes said.

"That you don't have to worry about, I have my own security people and now that you have informed me, I will take extra measures, but I will however refuse any kind of police or federal protection. Pardon me on that, as I don't feel comfortable with it."

"Then we'll show ourselves out. If you see anything out of ordinary here is my card please give me a call." Agent Scully said as they got out the fancy Ms. Chase's office.

"She is a major closet case. I know a gay woman when I see one." Monica said as soon as they were outside.

"Really now?" Scully questioned on her partner's statement then immediately continued with the case, "You are right though, and I believe we have found our pattern. She is going after gay people who are in the closet."

"So, she is the next victim." Monica confirmed.

"Not if we can help it."

"How do we stop her?" Monica asked the obvious question.

"First we must prove that we are right." Dana said hoping they were on the right track.

"I think I have a perfect way of finding out if she is gay, let me just make a phone call." Agent Reyes said as she opened her phone and searched for a number.

7:00PM Tara's Haven, Fairfield, VA

"This is a very exclusive gay women's club. It's for members only, and who you see here and what you see, stays only within these walls." Monica explained as she guided Scully to their table. "I am so glad the guard bought my friend's membership id as mine, or else she would have kicked us out."

"You mean you don't have your own membership?" Scully asked out of the blue.

"Me…why should I…I mean…" Monica was just trying to recover from the shock of Scully's question when the waitress came to their table.

"A dry martini for me and my GIRLFRIEND will have gin and tonic; give us sometime for the dinner order." Dana ordered as Monica's jaw had dropped.

"You can close your mouth Monica; I thought we were under cover. Don't we have to act the part?" Dana said smiling.

"Oh yeah!" Monica said composing herself, and she was now more confused about Dana now than she had ever been.

Through out the dinner, Monica made several attempt to ask Dana a direct question but words just failed her. Finally she gave up and concentrated on the chicken on her plate refusing to even look up at the senior Agent.

"And the plan is a success." Scully said breaking their silence.

Reyes looked up and followed Scully's gaze to elegant Ms. Tonya Chase hand in hand with another woman. Both women looked at her long enough for her to notice their staring. Monica immediately turned her head around, while Dana simply raised her glass and smiled at her.

"Why did you do that for? Now, that she has seen us, they kick us out." Monica said scared that her little id switch would be discovered.

"Monica why are you so nervous, why don't you enjoy your chicken, after all you have analyzed it for the last 20 minutes." Dana said once more teasing the younger Agent.

Monica smiled unable to respond to Dana's observation, when one of the bartenders came to their table. "DS right."

"Yes." Scully said looking up at the bartender.

"I thought I recognized you from the New York branch. I am sorry, one of our patrons was a little concerned but I'll let her know its fine." The bartender said recognizing Dana Scully.

"That's no problem. Would you offer TC a drink from me though?"

"You are gay?" Monica finally asked once the bartender was out of earshot distance.

"Why I thought you knew a gay woman when you saw one? And isn't that the reason why you have been hitting on me for the last seven month Agent Reyes?" Dana asked amused at her own cunningness at putting Monica on hot waters.

"God, you knew and you just didn't even respond." Monica said finally realizing what a fool she might have looked like as she continually pried to find out but never had the guts to ask her to the face.

"It's hard to miss, so shall we dance or you are going to tell me you are not gay?" Dana asked once again throwing Monica completely off guard.

02:00AM Holiday Inn, Fairfield, VA

"I haven't laughed so much since…" Dana paused to remember but her intoxicated brains refused so she just simply continued, "Since I don't even remember when."

"Well, TC's girlfriend is a trip." Monica agreed as she closed the door to her motel room.

"Yes she is. What was her name, no her initial, yeah JR, I am sure J stands for Jen, Jennifer or Jessica." Dana said as she let her body fall onto the bed.

"I am glad that we were able to convince them the gravity of danger TC, I mean Tanya was in, and JR promised me that she wouldn't leave her side, so by Monday we have to come up with a way to save her." Monica said remembering that every murder took place on a Monday.

"Yes that's one good thing that came out of tonight." Dana said remembering the case.

"But that's not the only thing that came out tonight." Monica said as she lay on her stomach on the bed so that her face was right on top Dana's.

"What else?" Dana asked simply as her eyes took turns to look at Monica's and the ceiling above.

"You." Monica said only with formation of her lips, with no voice. "You came out."

Scully didn't reply waiting for the lips to land on hers.

10:00AM Chase Residence, Fairfield, VA

"Yes, Agent Dogget, I'll be there this afternoon." Scully said as turned to look at the crime scene now with dozen or so police officers.

"How is JR… Jen doing?" Dana asked once she saw Monica come out of the house.

"She is still in shock. I can't believe this happened, I thought I had figured the pattern, I thought we at least had till Monday." Monica answered as guilt built up.

"Even if it was Monday we still don't know how to stop her." Dana pointed out the flaw in their plan. "Now, that we are sure of the pattern, I am going to go to the prison in Washington, to talk to AJ or try and find a way to stop this, while you find the next target."

"Ok." Monica said as she took out her note pad. "The next one is at Massachusetts and then Connecticut and New York City. We can rule the Connecticut guy out as he is completely out."

"Good, they are not that spread apart. Now, make sure you, you know for sure if they are straight or closeted." Scully instructed as she made her way to the car.

"Hey Dana." Monica said once Scully had already started the engine of her car. "I know it's because of the case, but to reconfirm, could you tell me that you are not leaving because of last night."

"No, I had a great time last night. I'll see you once I know how to stop AJ." Scully said as she soothed Monica's hand.

Agent Monica Reyes certainly had brought back Scully's smile, even though it had taken her seven months to take Scully to a gay club.


	3. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

"Can we not get out of bed?" Alex said as she nuzzled closer to Olivia in her bed.

"Sure." Olivia answered without even opening her eyes.

"God Liv you are always the lazy one."

"You suggested it, I didn't." Olivia said as she got up and switched on the TV on the way to the bathroom.

For a while now, Olivia's life had been a smooth sailing. There weren't that many cases that swarmed her desk, making her feel good that the streets were getting safer for women and children, and she had enough time to spend with her beautiful girlfriend. It was as though Alex never left, as everyday the sun rose and she woke to her brightening smile. Sometimes she would think how she even lived without her, then Dana's face would flash and her smile would immediately fade away. Even though her heart knew better, her mind always pushed back those occasional flashes of the FBI Agent's face as no more than a bug, much like an unsolved case would have done to her.

"God! Tanya Chase was killed last night."

As soon as Olivia heard it, she ran to watch the TV.

"Did you know her?" Olivia asked after the reporter finished.

"Almost 20 years ago, when I was a freshman in college, at this camp that I volunteered for. Did you know her?"

"I think she was a member of Tara's Haven, I remember seeing TC the last time I was there." Olivia answered.

"Wow, she was gay? I didn't know that." Alex said taking her turn in the bathroom.

"Oh yeah, we are everywhere….we are just not out." Olivia stated without much of a thought.

"Well, no reason to be. I am in closet and I am more than happy to share it with you." Alex called from the bathroom.

Olivia didn't answer as she started to make coffee.

"Hey Liv?" Alex said her head popping out of the bathroom door. "You have don't have a problem with me not being out, right?"

"How can I have a problem, when I am not out myself? Anyway IN or OUT I love you nevertheless."

"I know why you are killing these people." Scully said once she was alone with AJ.

AJ didn't say a word or move as she glared at the group photograph put in front of her.

"Greg Henson, Tom Reed, Nicole Cassady, Damian Ray, Jack Reynold and now Tanya Chase." Scully recited the names from the file. "Not because they were straight, but because they were not. They were all gay people but they weren't out."

"I know what you are thinking, you think if all the gay people came out, then there would be less discrimination, and Kelly would not be dead. But, coming out should be people's personal choice, you can't force it on them." Scully said trying to reach to the woman.

"Killing people who are not OUT, is not going bring back Kelly or save any other woman like Kelly and you know it."

"Damn it AJ, I know you are angry but how much better are you than those men who raped Kelly and left her for dead?" Scully said getting more agitated by the young woman's silence. Scully wanted to say more, scream more, but she just didn't have anything else to say. She got up and was about to leave when barely audible voice stopped her.

"Who said I want to be better Dana... Who said I was better? You asked what use is it to try and bring the cowards out of the closets. At least then, maybe, maybe our voice would not be meek, when a woman like Kelly is beaten and raped to show her what a real man is about, then maybe it won't go unnoticed. Kelly always said, 'we are everywhere' and truth is we are, but no one is out. Everyone has their own fucking agenda to stay in. But, if they are out, just imagine Dana, maybe you don't have to go to the club, pretending to be undercover, right DS?" AJ said with a smile on her face.

Scully was shocked, but an explanation quickly kicked in. AJ had the ability to travel in the victim's body, she must have seen Scully that night, to know about the Tara's Haven's rule of only using initials. Rarely in her life had Scully ever denied who she was, but right then in front of the woman who punished the closeted ones with death, Scully found herself lying.

"You are wrong AJ; I was there just for investigation." Scully said putting herself on AJ's list as she walked out.

"I thank you so much for your time. You have to understand we have to clear every angle." Agent Reyes said as she got up to leave, right then she remembered Scully asking her about the face in the photograph. "One last question, do you know Agent Scully, Dana Scully?"

"No, I don't think so." ADA Alexander Cabot replied. "Why am I supposed to?"

"No, no. I'll leave now. Thank you once again for you time." Agent Reyes said as she exited the office.

As soon as she was gone Alex picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hey Agent Doggett, is Agent Scully there, I was trying her cell but there is no answer." Monica said on her phone.

"No, she is examining last night's MRI's with the doctors. Why is there something you need me to tell her?" Doggett asked.

"No, just let her know that everyone in the east coast is clear so I am headed to Chicago now." Agent Reyes said as she hailed the cab.

"Alex, I can't believe you just didn't tell the Agent the truth." Olivia screamed at her girlfriend.

"I just can't, not when I might be running for the DA. And now that I know that it might happen, you are here and I'll ask Cragen for a favor." Alex explained.

"Ok, don't go anywhere. I am sending police escorts for you to go home. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Monica said what?" Scully asked unable to believe what she just heard.

"She said the east coast was clear and she was headed for Chicago."

Scully pulled her cell phone and immediately dialed Monica's number.

"Monica, what about, Alexandra Cabot?" She asked as soon as she heard a voice on the other end.

"She is straight." Monica replied calmly.

"No she is not. Where are you?"

"Oh Shit! I am already on the plane."

"I am going there right now, text me her address and any information you have on her. Then take the next plane back and meet me there."

"But Dana do you know how to stop AJ?"

"Yes." Scully said and looked at the two men in white coat standing on top of AJ, whose body lay still on a bed.

"You know you are nuts right." Olivia hadn't stopped screaming ever since she heard what Alex had done. "A Federal Officer comes to you, to warn you that you might be in a potential danger from a serial killer, and you outright lie to her."

Olivia couldn't still believe the stupidity of her girlfriend.

"Well, I am just not used to answering 'yes' when people ask me that, it's just out of habit I guess as I have been so defensive about it all my life." Alex tried to explain how the no had just come out as an automatic answer.

"Ok, fine, I forgive you for now, but if you even try to get out of my sight for even a fraction of a second, I'll never forgive you." Olivia warned.

"I don't intend to detective." Alex said as she opened her briefcase. "Any way, you should hear about the department she was from, the X-Files."

"Scully." The name escaped Olivia's lips before she could even stop it.

"Dana Scully, you know who she is?" Alex asked remembering the name Monica had asked her about. "Because, Agent Reyes asked me if I knew her."

"Agent Reyes?" Olivia asked surprised that it wasn't Scully who had visited Alex.

"Yes. Special Agent M. Reyes, X-Files." Alex said as she read the card Monica had left her.

"Oh! You know I have dealt with FBI in couple of my cases, and I had heard that Agent Scully was with X-Files she must have transferred." Olivia said covering her tracks.

Alex was about to ask more about Agent Scully when the phone rang and she picked it up. Upon hearing the caller, she simply Okayed whatever was asked.

"Well, I guess it's my lucky day." She said as she walked towards the door.

"Where do you think you are going?" Olivia asked.

"No where just opening the door…" Alex said opening the door and then waited for few second and as she saw the elevator door open right in front of her door she announced, "For Agent Dana Scully."


	4. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

When Olivia heard the name, she wasn't sure she heard it right. Ever since Alex mentioned X-Files, Olivia's mind had been thinking about Dana so much that she thought maybe, she just thought of the name, but she realized she was wrong as she saw her walk through the door. She couldn't believe her eyes, it was her and she was talking to Alex. She reminded her head that she was talking to Alex, and to get out of the stance that it had involuntarily entered. She walked over just to catch the last of Alex's sentence.

"... you shouldn't have."

And she stood right next to Alex and that's when Dana saw her.

"This is Detective Benson, she is here for my protection. Detective, this is Agent Scully." Alex was introducing the two women, but stopped as she saw their eyes hadn't left each others.

"You two know each other?" Alex asked.

"No." Olivia lied once again, almost automatically. "Agent Scully." She said extending her hand.

"We were just talking about you, as Agent Reyes asked me if I knew you?" Alex started the conversation as she led her to the living area.

"Your face had seemed familiar when I looked at the photograph. I must have read about you in the paper." Dana covered for Olivia's lie.

_"This is Alex?" Dana asked staring at a picture of a stunning blonde in glasses._

_"Yes." Olivia answered and took the photograph and tossed it in the box._

_"You don't have to hide it from me. Sometimes I wish you would talk about her." Dana said with a little frustration in her voice._

_"I don't want to. Now, lets just finish packing. Give me that yellow t-shirt from the shelf." Olivia said completely ignoring Dana's plea._

_"You really loved her didn't you." Dana asked as she handed the t-shirt._

_Olivia simply put the t-shirt in the suitcase._

_"I have some more space here, do you want to keep some of your stuff here, so that yours don't bulk."_

"But like I told Agent Reyes, I am not gay." I heard Alex insisting when the phone rang again. Alex listened for a while and walked to the door once more. "You really must be mistaken, if Agent Reyes is back here again."

"Well, you may not be gay but we just believe that it might be you." Dana said a little disappointed at Alex's constant insistence, but she brushed it aside thinking that for someone who wanted to run for DA one day, being in the closet might be more important.

Once Agent Reyes came, the four women separated as Scully and Reyes secluded to the balcony to talk the case and Alex wanted a little alone time with her girlfriend who hadn't seem to be able to take her eyes off the older Agent even though she said that she didn't know her.

"I am sorry I missed it. I thought with the gravity of the danger she wouldn't have lied to me." Monica said once they were alone.

"That is ok."

"So, do you know how to stop AJ?"

"Yes, or at least I think I know."

"You know her." Alex stated joining Olivia in the kitchen where she was making another drink.

"Let me guess, you guys were working on a case together and things got a little out of hand, so why are you lying about it?" Alex asked as she watched Olivia gulp down the drink and start to make the next immediately after.

"Liv!" Alex stopped Olivia's hands and turned her to face her. "Were you in love with her?" She asked a little louder.

"DANA!"

They both heard Agent Reyes' scream at the same time. Olivia rushed to the balcony where Dana was toppled and was hanging on Reyes' hands.

"Dana! Don't let go." Olivia said leaned over to grab her hands. Alex watched in silence as the two women pulled the fallen Agent back to safety.

"How the hell did you fall?" Olivia asked once they were all inside.

"I don't know." Dana said sipping the drink that Alex had given her.

"You almost jumped off, how can you say ..." Monica paused as the realization of what might have happened dawned on her. "You denied it to AJ didn't you?"

"I had to." Dana replied a little ashamed.

"What the hell is going on? Who is AJ?" Olivia demanded, not being the one to remain in the dark.

"AJ is our suspect." Monica took it upon herself to explain. "We believe that she has the capability to be in her victim's body, and that's how she murders. She is going after gay people who are not out, or who deny it."

"You actually do not believe that someone actually has the power to get into another's body?" Alex was the one who asked, when she saw her girlfriend not questioning the explanation.

"X-Flies is a department for paranormal cases." Olivia answered as fear set in her heart.

Alex was contemplating her next comment, being the only one who was unwilling to accept such a outrageous theory, when Monica suddenly got up and walked passed the two women to the other side of the room where, to their shock, a knife was floating in the air, pointing towards Dana.

"Dana, move." Olivia screamed, but the FBI agent sat paralyzed.

Monica tried to grab the knife, but some kind of a force field around it made it impossible even to touch it. Meanwhile Olivia had jumped next to Dana and tried to push her, but it was in vain. Monica panicked and took out her gun and shot at the knife, but the bullet deflected and shot at the wall instead.

Just then Olivia saw the knife move a little, she immediately brought herself in front of Dana and in a desperate attempt kissed Dana.

"That is disgusting." Alex shouted.

As though on a queue, the knife turned its direction and landed inside Alex's gut.


	5. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Everything had happened in no longer than a split second, but in her mind it replayed frame by frame. The first of which was of the knife. The knife that was already en route for Olivia.

Olivia the only person she lived for when she was in hiding. When she had lost her name, her family, her home, just to stay alive, for her that was death itself. But she woke up every morning and lived only for one hope, one hope that she would one day return to Olivia. And she had. She had come back and right back to Olivia. But that same Olivia's life was the target of the knife. _"I wish I could kill everyone who say its disgusting." _No sooner had the words of the angry teenager that she had once acquainted flashed in her head, "That is disgusting." escaped her lips before she could even assess the reason for it.

But when the pain flooded her every thought and oozed out of her body, she knew the reason and it was none other than Olivia.

Yes, Olivia the only person in the world that she would gladly die for. And it was Olivia, that she was staring at right then as she opened her eyes and blinked to adjust to the white light of the room. Olivia whose tears were smudging all over her face as soft but desperate kisses were planted onto her. The same Olivia who had shielded for someone else's life, almost as an instinct for a police officer one might reason, but there was something else. Something else that had caused more pain than the tearing of her skin. Then she remembered the kiss. Olivia's kiss on Agent Dana Scully's lips. The woman Olivia had lied to her about, who Olivia refused to talk about.

"GET OUT." She heard her own words as it echoed her thought. "GET OUT." She said it louder and clearer and turned away from Olivia.

When she turned back, Olivia was gone.

* * *

"That was the NYPD, Ms. Cabot is going to be fine." Monica said switching off her phone and looking at another woman laying on the hospital bed.

"That is good." Agent Dodget took a moment to comment before he continued his previous question. "So, doctor you think she'll ever come out of the coma?"

"It's hard to say. Not just the fact that coma by itself in any patient is unpredictable, but as in her case it's almost as though, her body is empty."

"Like her soul is missing." Scully completed the thought for the Doctor.

"Yes, exactly. The part of her brain that became active was almost like a doorway for her to leave her body, when we shocked it, we closed the door, hence leaving her out."

The three agents probed for few more minutes before assessing that the case was closed.

* * *

"You told Olivia to **GET OUT**?" Miranda was screaming at her best friend even though she was in the hospital. "This is the same **Olivia** that you would live and die for, not to mention that you almost did die for."

"Mir, you don't understand." Alex tried to explain before Miranda screamed at her again.

"Make me understand." Miranda threw her hand in the air, agitated by her friend's action. She had known Alex all her life and after Alex had told her in detail the events due to which she landed in that bed, and what had happened when she woke up, she just couldn't believe what her friend did.

"She was kissing..."

"Because she wanted to save her life." Miranda retorted as though it was her motives that were being questioned. "A crazed murderer had a knife diving at her because she refused to to admit she was gay. Liv did the most logical thing. She kissed her so that the murderer inside would know that the Agent was not ashamed. May be not the brightest thing to do in front of her girlfriend, but damn not enough to throw her out of your life or room."

"But she lied ..." Alex was in almost tears as she was beginning to see her wrong.

"Alex listen to me." Miranda was a little calmer now as she sat next to her friend. "You were dead, or as good as dead. That was a crazy time for everyone that loved you, so I can just imagine what she went through and amidst that if she found someone and shared more than a fling with, I don't think you should blame her for it. As, the only thing that boils down to, is that when you came back, she chose to come back to you."

"I know but why do I get this feeling that it wasn't a choice she made." Alex said finally voicing out the fear that had emerged due to Olivia's silence.

"You don't know that, and if Liv didn't tell you that then you make her sit in front of you and make her talk, but you don't tell the love of your life to get out, when your gut is lying on the bed all sewed up." Miranda wasn't going to let Alex throw away any chance that she still had with Olivia.

Alex was confused more so now that she had been before Miranda had started to scream. At least, without Miranda's advocating, she had camouflaged her pain with anger, but now she didn't even have that. All, she had was the enormous pain that resulted with the fear that she might be losing Olivia. As, the thought set in, she started sob louder unable to form any course of action.

"Don't cry babe. I am not going to let you lose Liv. Now, this is what we are going to do." Miranda hugged her friend as she determined their next course. "You are going to sign that release form of the hospital. I am going to take you to Olivia's place as Cargen told me that she had taken some time off. There I am going to tie her up and you are going to talk to her and make her talk."

Alex nodded as she smiled at the thought of Olivia all tied up.

* * *

"So, Olivia is the one that you knew?" Monica asked at the first chance she got alone with the older agent.

"Yes." Scully answered without a thought.

"Were you in love with her?"

"Does it matter now? Alex was never dead and she knew about it. So, basically it meant nothing." Scully stated the painful truth refusing to let it hurt her more than it already had.

"That's not the point, the point is were you in love with her?" Monica asked finally having a name and a face of Scully's past.

"Yes, I was." Scully answered without offering more elaboration.

"And when Alex came back, you were out?"

"No, I left before Alex came back. I didn't know she was alive."

"Why?"

"No, big thing actually, it was just a little argument. She told me to get out and I just left and came back. I always thought I would go back, but it just never happened." Even though her heart had felt that everything was more complicated than that, but when put on words that was the simplest explanation.

"Why?"

"Life happened Monica. I got abducted, Mulder disappeared. The X-files was a mess. There just wasn't the time to go back." Scully said a little irritated for having to excuse her procrastination.

"I don't think its fair to her that you just let her hang there. I don't think you can blame her for ..."

"I don't blame her." Scully cut Monica hoping that she could stop talking.

"If it still hurts Dana, you need to talk about it."

"I am talking about it. I am telling you everything."

"You need to talk to her." As much as Monica wanted to not have Dana anywhere near the woman that she knew she would loose Dana to, but she knew that for Dana's own sake what she was saying was true.

"Look life has moved on, and there is nothing to talk about. So, lets just drop it. How about we celebrate and go out for dinner tonight?" Dana said smiling, hoping that the distraction would certainly help.

"Sorry Dana, as much as I like you, you got too much drama for me to go out on a date with you. But I'll accept the invitation as a friend."

"God I haven't heard the 'too much drama expression' since I was in college when all the butches used to say that all the time."

"What do you think I was in college? Just imagine me in short hair and doc martin."

"Ummm...I like what I am imagining." Scully said taking a moment to picture the woman in short hair.

"Stop it Agent Scully. Now what time should I pick you up?"

"7:00"

* * *

"Are you ready?" Miranda asked as she saw Alex take out the key for Olivia's apartment.

"She is not answering. She just might be upset. She does that when she wants to be left alone." Alex was saying to herself as she opened the door.

It took the two women only few moment to realize that the reason for no answer was not because Olivia wanted to be left alone but because Olivia wasn't there.

"May be she just went to the bar or something." Miranda overloading her brains with explanations as she approached her friend who was standing put in front of the printer.

"What is it?" She asked as she looked at the paper in Alex's hand.

It was a confirmation of the e-ticket for Washington D.C.


	6. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

**_Are you in or are you out?_**

Scully knew that what she was doing was wrong. Asking Monica on a date, what was she thinking? Scully wondered as she stared at her open closet. Of course she had let things happen between her and Monica after Tara's Haven, but that was when she hadn't seen Olivia again and she had absolutely no hope of seeing her again. But, now that she had stood in the same room with Liv, provided along with her long lost girlfriend, but Liv had kissed her. Kissed her to save her life, but never the less it was a kiss, and it had stirred all the feelings that Scully was certain she had buried them just like the everything else among her piles of paperwork at her office.

But now it had resurfaced and how was she dealing with it, by dragging someone else into it. It wasn't like Scully at all, but whenever Liv was concerned, Scully had never been herself. After all when she started to know Liv, she had ignored all the red flags that Liv clearly showed, she even had at one point discussed with Mulder of moving to NYC just to be near Liv. Something who knew Scully would have never ever believed that she had thought about, but she thought that she was in so much in love that she was willing to give her all, unfortunately it was for a woman who had given her all to someone else. She knew it then, on that night when she had walked out. That was a big part of the reason why she had never called even after she had returned from her abductors.

And now? Alex comfortably back in Liv's life, and her witnessing it first hand, made it easier to go out and move on. Dana told herself as she checked her dress in the mirror.

Before she could put on her make up she heard the doorbell.

"You are early." Dana decided to scream out so that Monica was afore warned that she wasn't completely ready. "That means you can't complain when I make you wait."

Dana had only finished her sentence when the open door revealed her guest, which certainly wasn't Monica.

"Liv!"

"I don't know if I should do this." Alex was fretting in the airport to her friend.

"Yes, you should." Miranda said handing her friend the boarding pass. "Listen to me Alex. You have had too damn easy for too damn long, now its time to fight for what you want. If you love Liv, you fight for her, make sure she knows that you are not letting her go that easily you get it. You get down on your fucking knees if you have to, but let that woman know how important she is to you."

"Yes, yes, I will." Alex replied as though she was answering to a drill sergeant.

"And you are going to do it because I am saying so?" Miranda asked to make sure that she wasn't pushing her friend in the wrong direction.

"No, because I love her." Alex replied knowing full well why Miranda had asked her that. "I do Mir… I love her beyond anything and I will chase her to the other side of the world if I have to, but I'll fight for her."

"Good, now aren't we lucky Washington is only an hour flight and you are catching the very next flight so you'll only be about an hour behind her, and here take this, this is Agent Scully's address that she had looked up in the map quest for direction. Just head right there, and when you see her, give her a piece or two of my mind to, for leaving my best friend." Miranda said as she walked briskly towards the airline gate.

One would think that being a Federal Agent meant that you would have better alertness for the lights sounds etc., now that might have been true for when one is awake, but for this particular Federal Agent, sleep switched off everything around rendering the body dead to the world. But, tonight the caller who was trying to reach was not giving up, even after almost hundred unanswered rings. The phone paused for a moment, and then it started ringing right back again, and this time actually reaching the ear drums of the body lying still.

"Who is it?" The hand had grabbed the annoying invention of Alexandra Grambell and the mouth had yelled at the same time.

"This is Agent Dogget." John replied to the person now fully awake and in full Federal Agent mode.

"No, I am sorry. It's just that there is no case right now that's why I relaxed a little." John tried to make an excuse wondering how long the phone might have rung before he actually heard it.

After that John listened to the caller for a good couple of minutes before saying anything.

"Listen, I am coming right there, call for back-up, and do not, I repeat do not even try to go in." He warned mostly because of concern than as a command, as he got out of the bed and rushed to get out.

"Where is this?" Alex said as her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness and she could make out another body right in front of her that was breathing as heavily as she was.

"It's my closet." A familiar woman's voice replied.

"Agent Scully?" Alex asked even though she already knew who it was.

"Yes." Dana answered and then as an after thought decided to ask, "What are you doing here?"

"I came after Olivia." Alex replied. Just then she felt the sharp pain in the back of her head and wondered aloud if what she remembered about the cause of the pain was accurate. "Did she actually hit me?"

"Yes." Dana replied as though Olivia hitting her girlfriend, tying her up and stuffing her in the closet with her ex-girlfriend was normal.

"Are you telling me that Detective Olivia Benson, hit me, possibly you too, and tied both of us up and put us in the closet?" Alex asked a little annoyed at the normalcy that she heard in Dana's voice.

"No, Olivia didn't. AJ did. She is in Olivia's body." Dana replied with a little more seriousness this time.

"What?" Alex asked in disbelief.

"Or you can believe that your girlfriend actually hit us and tied us and put us in the closet." Dana replied with no interest in trying to present her case with reasons.

"Are you sure that is AJ and not Detective Benson?" Agent Dogget asked as he followed the woman walking in Agent Scully's apartment with his binoculars.

"I saw her hit ADA Cabot. I don't think Detective Benson would be attacking her girlfriend." Agent Reyes was following the woman with her own binoculars.

"Agent Reyes. Agent Dogget. The long view cam in set up for the window." One of the operative informed them, as they put their binoculars down respectively and walked to where a 27 inch screen that was set up on what they were peering through the lens was now in the screen.

"But, you told me that Agent Scully had previous relation with the Detective. May be this is just a lover's quarrel." Agent Dogget still preferred to find a normal explanation rather than paranormal ones.

"Well, I don't think that Detective Benson would tie them up and put them in the closet for any kind of lover's quarrel." Agent Reyes reasoned.

"She is all alone, why can't we just shoot her and get Agent Scully and ADA Cabot." John asked wondering why the extensive set up was being made.

"We can't do that because that is not AJ's body. We don't want to kill an innocent detective." Monica replied as she watched the screen.

"So, what do we do?" John asked.

"Well, I am hoping that because it was Dana's brilliant idea to zap AJ's brains, which has actually trapped her soul outside her body; I am hoping she'll give me some kind of hint." Monica said as she looked for the officer who had set up the screen. "Excuse me. You think we could get some sound too?" She asked the man.

"We are working on it." He replied.

"Well, if it is indeed AJ then, let me go to the hospital and see if the Doctors can try and get her soul back into her own body." John offered finally giving into Monica's theory. "But, if Scully and Cabot are in the closet how is she going to give you a hint?"

"Can't you see? AJ is preparing dinner, and the place is set for three, I am sure they will be coming out of the closet soon." _Yep two gay closeted women will be coming out of the closet._ Monica thought just after she spoke and chuckled at the double meaning it provided.

"That's what AJ wanted to do." John said and chuckled too sharing the same thought.

"The only thing I can think of, is that when Liv kissed me, AJ must have transferred to Liv, and just at that moment the Doctors zapped her brains which must have closed her door way, and she was trapped outside."

"But, Liv was in the hospital waiting for me to wake up, it certainly wasn't AJ." Alex said remembering the crying woman by her bedside.

"AJ must have been too weak at first, or Liv might have been too strong for her to take over. Then at a point when Liv might have felt a little vulnerable she must have taken over." Scully reasoned.

Alex remained silent as she knew the reason why Olivia who didn't even flinch at the worst of the worst crime scenes must have been weak for a moment or two. If Olivia had lost herself to a monster in her body then it was certainly because of her. Because she told her to get out of her life. How could she do that? Tears started to form as her heart filled with guilt.

"There is nothing we can do now, except try and get Liv to fight for her body." Scully said noticing that the ADA was almost in tears. "She was in my body, I know how it feels. You are still there, you can see and hear everything that is happening, you just can't command actions. Now, somehow we have to make Olivia want to burst out."

"How do we suppose we do that?" Alex asked though interested but not very optimistically.

"We talk, we talk to Liv. Ask her stuff that she needs to answer?" Scully answered but wasn't sure if she phrased herself right.

"There are few things I want her to answer." Alex confessed as she stared at the older woman.

"I am not the one who lied to you." Scully defended herself knowing exactly what Alex meant.

"But, you covered. You shook her hand as though you two were strangers." Alex complained.

"You know it wasn't my place to tell you anything." Dana replied coldly. "If it's any consolation, she refused to talk about you to me either."

"No, that makes it worse as that means that you meant more than all the one night stands and few flings that she told me about." Alex retorted as though Dana had actually insulted her. "I just get this feeling that she didn't tell me because she was scared I would find out something." Alex voiced her fear for the first time.

"It certainly was more than a fling, but you don't have to worry about anything else, after all she was pinning for you even when you were dead, or as good as dead."

"If that was so then where do you fit in?"

"I don't know and truly I don't care. The bottom line is she chose you."

"Did she?" Alex asked her self as much as she asked Scully. "She told me that you walked out. Why?"

Scully didn't answer; after all she didn't need to answer to Alex as why she walked out. Actually, Alex was the last person she needed to answer to.

"You can tell me, you know. I am not Liv." Alex nudged, as she really wanted to know.

"Because of you." Scully replied softly.

"Because of me. I wasn't even there. I was supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, and that's what I thought. I didn't know you were alive and I certainly didn't know Liv knew about it. So when Liv just refused to talk about you, I thought she was bottling up her sorrows and I wanted her to vent. So, I pushed a little more than I should have, because I certainly didn't want to compete with a dead girlfriend. But, hell you were alive and the wound was alive, and my little nudges finally made her snap, and I snapped back and walked out."

"And when you read the news that I was alive you didn't see the reason to come back."

"No, not really. I didn't know you were alive till I saw your picture for the case."

"Then why didn't you come back?"

"At first I wanted the things to cool down a little. After that, well, I was abducted."

"You were abducted as in abducted?"

"Yes, abducted by Aliens or by top government secret agents who pretend to be Aliens. It's still under investigation."

"When did you come back or when did they release you?"

"About six months ago."

"Did you contact Liv after that?"

"No. What was I to say, sorry I got abducted, but now I am back, I hope you haven't moved on with your life as I want it back exactly the way I left it." Scully mocked her voice as she could never even imagine herself saying it.

"That's what I did." Alex confessed as the realization of what she had done to Liv hit her.

"Well, it doesn't matter now. Life did move on and life had kept me busy." Dana answered ignoring the guilt that Alex was feeling.

"But, she didn't choose me." Alex voiced as at that moment even Dana's heart found a little bit of hope with the cause that she had thought she had lost.

"So ladies are you ready to come out of the closet?"

Alex and Dana both looked up as they heard Olivia's voice but definitely not in her accent.

"Isn't it funny, come out of the closet." She pointed out as she helped Dana to stand up.

"What is your plan AJ?" Dana asked.

"For now its simple, I just want to have some dinner with friends, namely you two."

"Good, I was hungry." Alex said following AJ.

"Now I am going to untie you both for dinner. You are more than welcome to shoot me, as you'll be shooting your girlfriend." She said looking at Alex, then she turned to Dana, "Or is she your girlfriend…God her mind is so confusing it is hard to make sense of it." AJ made a frustrated gesture and untied Dana.

"I am sorry." Dana said looking directly into AJ's eyes and right at that moment AJ flinched as though she had lost control for a second.

"I loved you, God I loved you." Dana continued.

"Oh what the fuck are you trying to do?" AJ asked confused at Dana's declaration.

"I shouldn't have left, and most of all I certainly should have come back…" Scully confessed.

"So, you left your little girlfriend huh, continue I don't mind a good lesbian love story."

AJ commented as she sat down on the head of the table.

"She couldn't come back because she was abducted and when she came back she just didn't feel right about walking into your life assuming that you hadn't moved on. But, I am sorry, as that is exactly what I did. I didn't even for once think that you might have moved on." Alex decided that she would have her say as well.

"But you were right to do so." Dana was now telling Alex. "You loved her and you never once stopped loving her so when you were back you wanted her back. There is nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah but that was selfish of me. I see it now. I mean you loved her and you only thought about her when you decided to let her move on. Your love for her is not selfish like mine."

"But selfishness is love. Possessiveness, selfishness, jealousy all is a product of love and as long as you don't go overboard with it, it is the greatest show for real love." Dana was backing Alex's heart as she realized how her love had been wrong.

"May be so, but when one can overcome it all and actually love so unselfishly that the happiness of the person you love supercedes everything else, even your own happiness that is the greatest love of all."

"And that is how you love her …"

"No…Dana that is how you love her…"

"Anyone care to ask me who I love?" It was clearly Olivia's voice and accent which interrupted the conversation.

Just then Dana picked up the glass and threw it at the window. No sooner had the glass flung upward, a bullet came shattering the window and landing on Olivia's shoulder.

"That was Olivia." Alex screamed as she saw the blood rushing out.

"I know…" Dana said hurrying by Olivia's side and checking her wound. "It only grazed passed your arm, you'll be ok." Dana said as she did a thumbs up sign towards the window.

"When I came into the room, I saw a red laser following Olivia. I knew that Mo… Agent Reyes must have set up a unit across the street. I knew I had to get Olivia out even for a moment and at that moment if we injured Olivia, her survival instinct would definitely keep AJ out of her body." Dana explained.

"That was a nice shot." Dana said getting up from Olivia's side as she saw several Federal Agent rush inside her apartment.

"Agent Dogget just called. AJ is back in her body and there is a hemorage in her brains so the doctor are going to do an emergency brain operation right now." Monica explained. "How is she?" She asked seeing that the emergency medical team had already put Olivia in the stretcher.

"So what got Olivia out?" Monica asked once she saw that the apartment was less crowded.

"Oh! Alex was talking to her." Dana lied.

"Already in nick name basis with the ex's girlfriend?" Monica raised her eyebrow trying to assess what might have happened.

"We were stuck in the closet together we had to talk."

"Oh yeah the closet." Monica remarked as the two women shared a sly smile at the double meaning of the sentence.

(Couple of days later in a side street café four friends are having lunch and talking and sharing their life as usual.)

"Oh God look!" Samantha said excited at what she was looking.

"Isn't that Detective Stabler?" Charlotte asked recognizing the handsome man that was getting inside a car.

"Yes, that is. Now how come a guy like him didn't get me knocked up when I was in high school." Carrie was asked as she watched the car drive by.

"Because you had the sense to use condom." Miranda answered with logic humor usual.

"And no matter how good looking he is do you see yourself with four kids married to a Detective?" She asked seriously.

"Well, that doesn't mean I can't drool." Carrie retorted.

"Oh you can drool, and so can I." Samantha second Carrie's fantasy.

"Miranda you never told us what happened with your ADA friend." Charlotte asked.

"Oh yeah, the last thing you told us was that you shipped off Alex in a plane to Washington." Samantha added to the question.

"There is nothing much to tell." Miranda answered in her usual, nothing is important to mention tone.

"What do you mean by there is nothing to tell, you said that Olivia might still be in love with her ex right, so is she back with Alex or is she back with the Federal Agent?" Carrie certainly wanted to know.

"Neither, she left them both." Miranda answered matter of factly at her friends who were now staring at her like she had told that the world was ending story.

"I think I can understand her. She did love them and they loved her too, but Agent Scully gave her too much space by just letting life take over and Alex just took too much for granted by walking back into her life and wanting her back, even though she waited for Olivia to come to terms with it, you know how she was when Olivia had said she needed space and Alex was all like what does she need space for, we love each other and that's all that should matter and she kept pushing Olivia get over it. Well now Olivia is over her." Miranda said as though what had happened was a good thing.

"How is Alex doing?" Charlotte asked genuinely concerned.

"She is ok, she is trying to move on with life you know. She has been offered ticket to run for the mayor, she might take it. She also came out, for all you know you'll be voting for a gay woman very soon." Miranda said with more enthusiasm in her voice.

"I'll definitely vote for her. It's about time New York City had a gay mayor." Samantha said with a bang of her fist on the table.

"Aye Aye to that." Carrie added raising her soda glass.


End file.
